I could never figure out what it was that kept me continuously coming back to a burnout breakdown. I was a smart woman, more than capable of managing at work for most of my life. I had good doctors and care. I had support. Overall, I had everything I was supposed to have, and could never stop repeating a cycle.
I would start something new. I would master it quickly. I would take on more, and expand, because that is what you do in capitalism. You grow. Before I knew it, I'd end up carrying too much.
The problem was, I carried too much too well. I've often referred to it as spinning plates. I'm the performer, spinning all the plates, and everyone tells me how amazing I am. They can't believe how well I spin them!
But the truth is, I lived knowing I was a breath away from a plate spinning off. Something shattering. Or worse, a full collapse.
And I tried everything to cure myself of that feeling. Medications. Wellness trends. Yoga. Therapy, of course, so much therapy. And bits and pieces helped, but no matter what, I would always break in some way. The plates would all come crashing down again.
So you know what I started doing?
Picking up less plates. I started setting boundaries on what plates I picked up. I decided what color and pattern plates I wanted (little goose dishes).
And piece by piece, I stopped feeling like a circus act, and started feeling like a person with a normal set of China.
Burnout stopped circling back.
I did this through a variety of ways, but ultimately it boiled down to starting to pay attention to what I did and didn't like. I started to learn what was working naturally, and what I was trying to force into my life in a way that didn't make sense.
What would it look for you to start building a life that supports your long term wellness, in a functional way? Where in your life do you need better boundaries, to build a new process, or create a function that serves you?
That's what I help you build.
As always, if you're interested in working together, my services are here. I'm also open to ideas and other collaborations, as well as exchanging services with other professionals.
Weekly R.E.P.O.R.T.
What I'm Reading, Eating, Playing, Obsessing, Recommending and Treating.
Reading: I've been reading/listening to a lot lately, so a double feature this week. First, Caste: The Origins of Our Discontent by Isabel Wilkerson. I've talked in the past about how I have a disdain for social hierarchies and could never understand them. Caste breaks down what is actually going on, and SPOILER: It's racism!
And then I also am just wrapping up Emergent Strategy by adrienne maree brown. I really enjoy hearing people talk about what the world could be, if we rebuilt it more intentionally. Emergent Strategy brings together a collection of stories and lessons into a framework for just that.
Eating: This absolutely delightful raspberry mascarpone croissant this morning for breakfast. Truly delicious, and I enjoyed it very much.
Playing: With tie dye! I found this 100% linen dress at the thrift store. I started wearing a lot of linen last summer, and especially like it when out in the garden. This had a few small marks on it, and even if I'd gotten them out, I would have felt weird getting it dirty, so I decided I'd tie dye it. I bought a kit from Michaels, and while you can't tell, it has glitter in it.
Obsessing: I'm so happy it's warmer. I'm so happy I can be outside on my porch and I'm obsessed with all the little wildlife friends that come and visit me. Please meet:
Chipotle the Chipmunk
Bunjamin
and Mr. Cardinal
Recommending: Yes it's another book, and I'm sorry, and honestly you don't even need to read the book you just need to trust me when I say that it backs up everything I say about doing art and being creative, and how it saved my life.
I'm also reading Art Cure: The Science of How the Arts Save Lives by Daisy Fancourt and AHHHHHH. Okay. Just, as a someone who has been depressed my entire adult life, I cannot recommend getting a creative hobby that you do not monetize ASAP. And read this book.
Treating: Technically not treating if it is gifted? Over the weekend, I was cleaning out my garage. At one point, I realized that I hadn't ridden my bike in years, because I injured my knee and it's just too painful. I decided I may as well give it away in my neighborhood Buy Nothing Group. It was quickly claimed, a woman came and got it for her daughter, and she was super effusively thankful. That's just to say that sometimes good things come around after a good deed really quickly, because:
about an hour later, I happened to be scrolling FB marketplace for garden things. I came across an automatic cat box that had JUST been posted. I sent a quick message and added a photo of Clover as a cat tax. She got back to me and was so tickled she chose me. So yay! We got an automatic cat box!
The end.
Wishing you a week of whimsy, to drown out the horrors!
xoxo
Jessica
