I think about change a lot.
I've lived through more change in my life than most, and it seems that I've never known a life without constant change.
I was a child, then I was a wife.
I was a wife, and then I was a domestic violence victim.
I was a victim, who was easy prey to a new man, and became a wife again.
I became a full time mother, a working mother, and then a working part time mother.
I divorced again.
I fell apart.
I fell in love.
I moved to a new country.
I've had more jobs than I can count, from more fields than you would imagine.
Change has been the only constant in my life. I've learned that is not normal, or at least, not the general experience people have. It's affected my attitude on change deeply, in that I almost get squirrely when I'm not changing enough.
But in the last two years, I've longed for a lack of change. I crave the dig my roots deep down into the ground I'm on, and be steady, for the first time in my life.
I couldn't define what it was, or put it into words properly. Then I saw this post from a peer of mine, and it expressed where I'm at.
We're in a place of change as society. As a whole, we're moving through a deeply needed change, that has many of us incredibly uncomfortable.
And this time I'm choosing to stay where I am. I'm choosing to fight for what I believe in this world. I'm choosing to change, but for the greater good of our community, than for myself.
In the past I used change as a survival tactic. It was to get myself to safer space, to build the foundation that I needed. I was building that foundation for the work I am doing now.
I started a reread of Emergent Strategy over the weekend. I read it last year but it was more a of skim, and I wanted to reengage with the content. One of the first lessons reinforced was "change is constant, be like water."
We're all constantly changing. And when we shift and change, we shift those around us. Water doesn't change the world with a nuclear weapon. Water slowly widens the river bend, erodes away the chip in the rock, and softens sharp edges.
Where do you want to see more change in your life? Where do you want to begin to build the world you want?
Weekly R.E.P.O.R.T.
What I'm Reading, Eating, Playing, Obsessing, Recommending and Treating.
Reading: Emergent Strategy. I reccomend this book to people who want to expand their understanding of what a new, better world could be.
Eating: I'm in such a food rut! Nothing exciting at all. It's been a bit of survival mode by dinner time lately and we're eating more frozen lasagna than most people would be comfortable admitting.
Playing: Last year I started making some miniatures, which led me to making magnets, which has now led me back to miniatures, but this time with a new garden idea in mind. Long term it'd be so fun if my yard could become an ongoing art project. For now, I made this tea cup.
Obsessing: Okay this is where I'm at with my dress. It's genuinely so cute. A friend came over last week and helped me sew the zipper in, but the waist is too long unfortunately and it's going to have to wait until I can go back to sewing class in 2 weeks to get her help.
Recommending: The Ugly Binder System. Someone recently asked about how to manage organization as an ADHD person. As a former EA with ADHD, who went on to manage my own business, I have tried every productivity software available. And now I use Ugly Binder.
Treating: Myself to long afternoons sitting in my garden, befriending Chipotle.
Wrapping Up
Change isn't always bad. Change isn't always good. Change like everything else, water included, can be directed to get where you want in life. If you're wondering what needs to change and how, I'm here to help guide that transition. If you're interested in working together, my offers are here, and I'm always open to new collaborations.
The end.
xoxo
Jessica
